Leading with Authenticity:

Modeling Vulnerability Without Losing Authority

The idea of the strong, stoic leader is a relic of 20th-century management theory and styles. For decades, the widespread belief suggested that leaders have to be emotionally distant and can’t be seen wavering to maintain respect. However, more modern workplace dynamics and actual research of social scientists like Brené Brown have proven the opposite. It happens to be that authenticity is a main driver of trust, and vulnerability is the foundation of authenticity.

Many leaders are resistant to making a change to this more modern leadership style because they’re afraid that showing emotion or admitting a lack of knowledge will undermine their credibility and make them look incompetent. They equate vulnerability with weakness when vulnerability is the act of still showing up and being seen even when you can’t control the outcome. For a leader, this doesn’t mean oversharing personal trauma or being unprofessional but instead means being honest about the challenges of the work and the limits of your own understanding.

Understanding the Brené Brown Perspective

Brené Brown defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. In her book Dare to Lead, she emphasizes that there’s no courage without vulnerability. If a leader isn’t willing to risk being wrong or appearing imperfect, they can’t innovate. Innovation inherently requires the risk of failure, and if a leader punishes failure or hides their own mistakes, the team will often respond by becoming guarded and risk-averse themselves to avoid the leader’s critical eye.

Brown identifies a certain behavior she calls "armored leadership." Which is when a leader uses perfectionism, cynicism, or authority as a shield to avoid feeling emotionally exposed. This armor is used to create a barrier between the leader and their team. To move toward "daring leadership," the leader must replace the armor with grounded confidence. Grounded confidence is a term coined by Brown which she stated is the ability to stay curious and committed to learning, even when the situation is uncomfortable.

The Difference Between Vulnerability and Oversharing

One of the most common reasons leaders avoid vulnerability is the fear of looking like they are losing their professional edge. It’s important to distinguish between "vulnerability with healthy boundaries" and "unfiltered disclosure."

Vulnerability in leadership is about the work and the culture in the organization. It’s saying, "I’m not sure what the right move is here, and I need your input," or "I’m feeling the pressure of this deadline just like you are." It isn’t about using your employees as a support system for your personal life. When a leader shares personal information without a clear professional purpose, it can make the team feel responsible for the leader’s emotional state. And ironically for the mind of a leader, this is where authority is actually lost.

Authority is maintained when vulnerability is used to solve a problem or build a connection. When you admit a mistake, you aren’t showing incompetence; you’re demonstrating accountability. By taking responsibility, you set a standard that everyone else on the team can follow.

Practice Strategies for Modeling Vulnerability

Consider some of the following approaches to begin implementing this new style of leadership.

1. Admitting When You Don’t Have the Answer
The traditional leader often feels pressured to have an immediate solution for every crisis. A daring leader is comfortable saying, "I don’t know the answer to that yet, but I’m going to find out." This builds authority because it shows you value accuracy over ego. It also empowers your team to bring their expertise to the table rather than waiting for a top-down command.

2. Sharing the "Why" Behind Hard Decisions
When a difficult change occurs, such as a budget cut or a major change in organizational strategy, leaders often hide behind corporate jargon that no one actually understands. Modeling vulnerability means acknowledging the difficulty of the situation and being realistic about it. You might say, "This was a hard decision to make because I know how much work went into the previous project. I feel the impact of this change too." This validates the team’s feelings and keeps them engaged instead of becoming mistrustful and on wary.

3. Asking for Feedback on Your Own Performance
Asking for feedback is a highly vulnerable act. It puts you in a position where you might hear something uncomfortable. However, when a leader asks for a "360-degree" view of their management style, they’re showing that they’re committed to growth. This creates a feedback loop where employees feel safe giving honest input without fear of retaliation.

Creating a Culture of Psychological Safety

Vulnerability is at the core of psychological safety. Psychological safety is the belief that one won’t be punished or humiliated for speaking up with ideas, questions, concerns, or mistakes. It’s when someone can feel comfortable coming to their leader without fearing repercussions or judgment.

When a leader models vulnerability, they’re effectively lowering the cost of admission for everyone else. If the CEO admits they struggled with a presentation, a junior analyst feels safer admitting they found a bug in the code. This prevents small errors from snowballing into organizational disasters.

A culture of safety doesn’t mean a culture of low standards. In fact, Brené Brown argues that "clear is kind." Being vulnerable enough to have a difficult, honest conversation about performance is much more effective than being "nice" but vague. Authority is strengthened when you can hold people accountable with empathy rather than through fear.

The Role of Boundaries in Maintaining Authority

To ensure that vulnerability doesn’t slide into a loss of respect, boundaries have to be clear. Boundaries are the requirements for what’s okay and what’s not okay in a professional interaction.

Focus on the Lesson: When sharing a failure or mistake, always focus on what was learned and how it’ll change future actions. This keeps the conversation anchored in professional development.

Time and Place: Vulnerability should be used intentionally. A one-on-one meeting is often a better place for a vulnerable conversation than a large company-wide assembly, unless the topic affects everyone.
Keep the Focus on the Team: Your vulnerability should serve the team's needs. Before sharing, ask yourself if the disclosure helps the team move forward or if it simply makes you feel better.

The long-Term Impact of "Daring Leadership"

Leaders who embrace vulnerability inevitably can begin to see tangible results in their organizations.

Higher Retention: Employees stay where they feel seen and respected as humans, not just as numbers or units of production.
Increased Innovation: When people aren’t afraid of looking stupid, they suggest more creative ideas.
Faster Problem Solving: Vulnerable cultures identify mistakes early because no one’s trying to hide them to protect their reputation.

The transition from a command-and-control style of leadership to a vulnerable, daring style isn’t easy. It requires a high level of self-awareness and the willingness to be uncomfortable. But as Brené Brown notes, "You can choose courage or you can choose comfort, but you cannot have both."

By choosing to be vulnerable, you’re not giving up your authority. You’re trading a brittle, fear-based authority for a resilient, trust-based authority. That’s the kind of leadership that survives crises and builds lasting legacies.

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