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Untangling Our Thoughts

Understanding and Overcoming Cognitive Distortions

Ever find yourself stuck in a mental trap, jumping to conclusions, assuming the worst, or replaying a mistake until it feels bigger than it really is? If so, you’re in good company. Most people experience moments where their thoughts become overly critical, harsh, or unrealistic. In the mental health world, these patterns are called cognitive distortions, and they can quietly shape how we see ourselves, other people, and the world around us.

Think of cognitive distortions as the mental equivalent of wearing tinted glasses. Maybe the tint is subtle, or maybe it is so strong that it colors everything you see. These thinking habits often develop over time, sometimes as a response to stress, trauma, perfectionistic tendencies, or ongoing pressure to meet certain expectations. While they often start as coping mechanisms, they can increase anxiety, amplify stress, fuel burnout, and erode your sense of confidence and self-worth.
The good news is that once you can recognize these distorted thoughts, you can challenge them and eventually replace them with more balanced and grounded ways of thinking. It is a bit like taking off those tinted glasses and realizing that the world looks clearer, kinder, and far less overwhelming than you thought.

Common Cognitive Distortions (and How They Show Up in Everyday Life)

1. All-or-Nothing Thinking
Also called black-and-white thinking, this distortion leaves no room for middle ground. Something is either a total success or an absolute failure. You are either doing everything right or everything wrong.

Examples:
  • “If I do not do this perfectly, there is no point in trying.”
  • “I made one mistake, so the whole project is ruined.”

People who struggle with perfectionism often fall into this trap. Life becomes a high-pressure performance instead of a range of experiences with wins, lessons, setbacks, and everything in between.
 
2. Overgeneralization
Overgeneralization takes one negative experience and applies it broadly, as if it defines all future outcomes.

Examples:
  • “I messed up this presentation. I always screw things up.”
  • “That relationship did not work out, so I must not be good at relationships.”

It is like taking one data point and turning it into a rule, even when the evidence does not support it.
 
3. Mental Filtering
Imagine having five positive experiences today and one challenging moment. Mental filtering zooms in only on the negative one and leaves everything else out of the picture.

Examples:
  • Receiving ten compliments and one piece of constructive feedback but obsessing over the feedback.
  • Focusing on the one thing you did not finish instead of everything you accomplished.

This distortion increases stress and feeds feelings of inadequacy, even when there is plenty of evidence that you are doing well.
 
4. Discounting the Positive
You may receive praise at work or handle a stressful situation with skill and calm, but if you are discounting the positive, you explain away those accomplishments.

Examples:
  • “They said I did a good job, but they were just being polite.”
  • “Sure, my project was successful, but that was only luck.”

This distortion keeps you from absorbing your strengths and recognizing your growth. Over time, it becomes harder to feel confident, even when you are improving or thriving.
 
5. Jumping to Conclusions
This distortion involves making assumptions without evidence. It appears in two major forms.
 
  • Mind-reading: Assuming you know what others are thinking, usually something negative.
Examples:
  • “They did not text back because they are annoyed with me.”
  • “People probably think I am awkward.”
 
  • Fortune-telling: Predicting future events as if the outcome is guaranteed.
Examples:
  • “This will go badly.”
  • “I know I am going to fail.”

These patterns can feed social anxiety, worry, and avoidance.
 
6. Magnification and Minimization
This distortion exaggerates the importance of negative events (magnification) and minimizes the importance of positive ones (minimization).

Examples:
  • “This mistake is the worst thing that could have happened.”
  • “My promotion does not matter. Anyone could have gotten it.”

If you magnify flaws and minimize strengths, your self-image becomes discouraging and unrealistic.
 
7. Emotional Reasoning
Emotional reasoning assumes that because you feel something strongly, it must be true.

Examples:
  • “I feel like a failure, so I must be one.”
  • “I feel unsafe, so something bad is going to happen.”

Feelings provide important information, but they do not always reflect facts.
 
8. “Should,” “Must,” and “Have To” Statements
These rigid internal rules create pressure, guilt, and frustration.

Examples:
  • “I should be more productive.”
  • “I must keep everyone happy.”
  • “I have to say yes, or they will be disappointed.”

These rules often come from past experiences, cultural expectations, or deeply held beliefs about responsibility and worth.
 
9. Labeling
Instead of describing a situation, labeling assigns a fixed identity to you or to someone else.

Examples:
  • “I forgot something. I am so stupid.”
  • “They made a mistake. They are incompetent.”

Labels are harsh global judgments that ignore nuance, progress, and context.
 
10. Personalization
Personalization involves blaming yourself for things that are not completely in your control.

Examples:
  • “The meeting went poorly, so it must have been something I said.”
  • “If someone is upset, I probably caused it.”

This distortion increases anxiety and can lead to people-pleasing, because you may feel responsible for other people’s emotions and experiences.
 

Taking the First Step Toward Change

Recognizing cognitive distortions is one of the most powerful steps you can take to improve your emotional well-being. Once you can identify a distortion, you then have the ability to challenge it and work toward replacing it with something more balanced.

Here are some helpful questions to ask yourself when you feel stuck in a negative thought loop:
  • What thoughts am I having right now?
  • Do these thoughts fit into any cognitive distortion patterns?
  • What is the evidence for this thought?
  • What is the evidence against it?
  • Is there a more balanced or realistic way to view this situation?
  • If someone I cared about had this thought, what might I say to them?

These questions help slow down the automatic nature of distorted thinking. Instead of accepting a thought as fact, you intentionally create space to examine it more carefully.
 

How to Start Reframing Distorted Thoughts

Reframing is the process of taking an unhelpful thought and reshaping it into something more balanced, fair, and compassionate.

Examples:
  • Distorted thought:
“I messed up one task. I am completely incompetent.”
  • Reframed thought:
“I struggled with that task, but I have succeeded in many others. I can learn from this experience.”

Reframing does not mean ignoring reality or pretending everything is positive. It is about holding the entire picture, including your strengths, your resilience, and your capacity to grow.

Writing these thoughts down can be especially useful. Seeing your thoughts on paper or in your notes app makes them easier to analyze and challenge.
 
Cognitive distortions therapy

Over Time, Change is Possible

Cognitive distortions will not disappear overnight. They are mental habits, and like any habit, they take practice to change. But with consistent awareness, curiosity, and compassion for yourself, these distorted thoughts become easier to catch and easier to release.

As your thinking becomes more balanced, you may notice:
  • Lower anxiety
  • Less stress
  • More self-compassion
  • Healthier relationships
  • Greater emotional resilience
  • More clarity in decision-making
  • A stronger sense of confidence

Your thoughts have tremendous influence on how you feel and behave. When you begin to untangle distorted thinking, you create space for a more grounded, hopeful, and empowered way of living one thought at a time.

TAKE THE FIRST STEP TOWARD HEALING

Your mental health matters. Let Dimensions Counseling Center in Johnson City, TN help you regain balance and well-being with compassionate, expert care.
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